Just wanted to say Thank You

 

I have been pretty busy recently. With all the family stuff, getting my oldest cub ready for school and writing, well I just haven’t had the time to blog.

I wanted to give a special shout out to my writing group. I met these lovely group of people from a writing group recommended by a fellow WordPress blogger. Some of the members have formed another group because of common interests in writing and literature and well that’s how I became a member of the writing group #writingwenches.

These ladies and one gentleman (yes there’s only one guy) have made writing for me not only interesting, but fun. If I need a daily dose of laughs, sarcasm and support well they are always right there. You can feel comfortable sharing your work or even a problem and there is no judging. In a world where there are so many criticizers online this is a rare, but welcomed treat.

I haven’t known any of them that long, but I feel like they are the family (worldwide) that I have never have. I went from doing two short stories that I have self published to working on a holiday anthology with many of the members of this group. If you have a concern, a worry or just need a vent they are there to lend a ear, advice or just make it all better with an on screen hug and invisible wine,

So, my fellow wenches I just wanted to say Thank you! You guys are one of the highlights of my daily rounds of social media & I appreciate you. Cheers to much success for us all.

One Day At A Time

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”

I got on Facebook yesterday evening and was shocked by hearing the news of Robin Williams’ passing. From what I read last it looked like an apparent suicide. No, I did not know him personally. I did however grow up watching many of his movies. My favorite Disney cartoon was Aladdin. My mood was pretty much down after that. I woke up this morning still feeling down and my fiancé pointed out that maybe I was feeling this way because I can understand the serious of depression. It is a mental illness and it doesn’t pass with time.

I have been hearing some very negative things on social media as if it’s just easy to “be happy”. As if it is easy to put a smile on your face when inside everything is a mess. “Oh well he shouldn’t have killed himself.” Well, most times whenever anyone commits suicide, nine times out of ten, the place that they are in is so dark that nothing can bring them lout of it except death. I DO NOT believe suicide is the answer. I do wish any of those who lost their lives would know that they are loved, but to those it’s not easy. They are not in a place to understand the love from other people and frankly it isn’t enough. Not to them!

 I know many people who have suffered from some form of depression. I myself deal with anxiety and everyday is another struggle. Another day always comes with its hurdles. I will like to clarify that no my anxiety as of right now is not severe. I am also doing everything that is possible to live as best as I can with it. However, I do go through the doubts, worries, anger, sadness among other things every day. I have to try to manage my moods so I wont scare my children and hope that the people around me understand that it is nothing that they did that caused this. That they understand if I lash out it is not on purpose. That sometimes even getting help (medicines, therapists etc.) just isn’t enough.

Mental illness is a serious thing. It is no joking matter. Too many brush it under the rug as if it is an easy thing to live with. I used the quote in the beginning because it does speak volumes. I have dealt with many things in my short people and was very surprised it took as long as it did to get the anxiety I deal with on an everyday basis. I have heard people tell me “You are very strong.” I don’t always feel that way at times. I however, keep my children in mind, They need me for as long as its possible I need to here for them. Everyone else doesn’t deal with things like me. Better yet, everyone doesn’t deal with things the same.

So my message is this please be kind to people. Stop bullying people. Stop criticizing people for things you do not understand. A smile on the face does not always mean everything is okay. If you ask anyone how are they? Is everything ok? Well, make sure you mean that. I also will repeat suicide is not the answer. Please if it is possible do get help.

Though I have lost a spouse before, and I was devastated. I however cannot fathom what Robin Williams children and wife are going through. Especially losing him in that fashion. My thoughts and prayers are with them at this time.

(If you or you know anyone that is contemplating suicide please tell someone or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

If you are suffering from mental illness there is an information hotline at (1800) 950-NAMI (6264)

The Advice I Didn’t Get

It all starts with a blank slate and quite simple. You are excited that you are expecting a new bundle of joy. You are counting down the days until he or she arrives. Nine months later precious little gifts with chubby cheeks and high pitched somewhat musical screams are placed in your arms. You are amazed of how tiny, but perfect they are. You ask the question over and over how could I make something so perfect?
They tell you all about what you can eat and drink during pregnancy. The mood swings and the weight gain and the constant need to pee. The heart burn and the 3 a.m. cravings that has your significant other running to the store. There are tons of books that you can get while pregnant. And that’s fine and dandy but what about after the baby is over one?
What they didn’t tell you was the lack of sleep you will get even after your child is off breast milk or formula. They never mention that sometimes caffeine just isn’t enough to give you a boost.(I don’t even like coffee.) They never tell you that no matter how many times your child get sick the first sign of a sniffle makes you feel like you didn’t do enough to keep them from getting sick. You stress because you’re baby is suffering and cold medicine is not a option.
Those rare quiet moments you try to get back by taking a quick breather in the bathroom which are interrupted by the constant knocks on the door. (All of a sudden there’s something important that needs to be said and can’t wait until you’re done.)

There are the days that everything starts off great and all of a sudden your child throws their head back and screams and there was nothing that you did to warrant such actions.

There are the occasional gray hairs and stress lines and the rare.moments you feel you did something wrong as a mother .

I never was told that no matter how fair you try to be them, that it’s just not good enough and sometimes they will say “mommy I don’t like you.

The books never tell you that after buying clothes about a month later nine times out of ten they will have outgrown them.
No one has ever told me that you will cherish every quiet moment you can get because with kids.quiet time rarely exists.
I know this all may sound a bit bad right now, but this is no doubt the lack of sleep talking. All the advice books and other mothers in the world will never be able to put into words the love that YOUR children will have for YOU. That there will be times your child may not reach a milestone in the “certain period”, or your first child and your second child will sometimes make you feel inexperienced because simply every child is different. The silly moments and the important moments that shape your children into the adults. Those type of things are frankly priceless.

I could go on and on, but I am relishing the fact that all three of my cubs are sleeping. I think I’ll have that wine now and read a good book.